Finding the Words to Say Goodbye (or Not)

I spent time with my dad when he was in a hospice in 2004, and he died there on December 20th of that year. We never had a final "goodbye" conversion. I new he was near the end, although I thought I'd have a chance to go visit him again. But I got the call from the social worker saying he'd passed. Weird, that. It wasn't my sister who called me. It was his social worker.

Anyway, my advice is not to wait too long to say goodbyes if you think things are coming to the end for a loved one. But some people don't even tell their friends and family that they're dying.

See this piece at the New York Times, "Exit Lines."

Jennifer Johnson: 'I Am Too Young...'

At London's Daily Mail, "Terminally ill mother-of-two records heartbreaking YouTube video before she died just days before Christmas."

And watch the video, "A Heart Worth Saving."

Ms. Johnson died of complications following open heart surgery. Join me in a prayer for her survivors.

'It was really awkward because he kept telling me that I was the perfect girl for him, but that a low credit score was his deal-breaker...'

Times have changed, I guess. My credit was shot when I met my future wife. And I was working minimum wage and driving a beaten down Toyota 2x4 pickup. I had a smokin' hot physique back in the day, so I guess that explains it.

In any case, a great piece at the New York Times, "Perfect 10? Never Mind That. Ask Her for Her Credit Score":

As she nibbled on strawberry shortcake, Jessica LaShawn, a flight attendant from Chicago, tried not to get ahead of herself and imagine this first date turning into another and another, and maybe, at some point, a glimmering diamond ring and happily ever after.

She simply couldn’t help it, though. After all, he was tall, from a religious family, raised by his grandparents just as she was, worked in finance and even had great teeth.

Her musings were suddenly interrupted when her date asked a decidedly unromantic question: “What’s your credit score?”

“It was as if the music stopped,” Ms. LaShawn, 31, said, recalling how the date this year went so wrong so quickly after she tried to answer his question honestly. “It was really awkward because he kept telling me that I was the perfect girl for him, but that a low credit score was his deal-breaker.”

The credit score, once a little-known metric derived from a complex formula that incorporates outstanding debt and payment histories, has become an increasingly important number used to bestow credit, determine housing and even distinguish between job candidates.

It’s so widely used that it has also become a bigger factor in dating decisions, sometimes eclipsing more traditional priorities like a good job, shared interests and physical chemistry. That’s according to interviews with more than 50 daters across the country, all under the age of 40.

“Credit scores are like the dating equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease test,” said Manisha Thakor, the founder and chief executive of MoneyZen Wealth Management, a financial advisory firm. “It’s a shorthand way to get a sense of someone’s financial past the same way an S.T.D. test gives some information about a person’s sexual past.”

Actually, Ms. LaShawn has some pretty great teeth --- and then some.

RTWT at that top link.

Added: I can't resist adding this passage:

Lauren Dollard, a 26-year-old assistant at a nonprofit in Houston, said her low credit score had helped to stall her romantic plans. Her boyfriend is wary of marrying her until she can significantly pay down the more than $150,000 she owes in student loans and bolster her credit score, she said.

I personally wouldn't marry someone who ran up that much in college debt. The numbers I read about in student loan debt these days are literally obscene. No one should ever take out that much debt for any kind of degree, any kind, including an attorney, doctor, or whatever. You start out your professional life in financial bondage. Talk about a higher education bubble. Oh brother...

Netanyahu's Christmas Greeting 2012

Via Linkmaster Smith:

No Room for Seconds

Everything turned out just perfect, via Twitter.

I think we have some pumpkin pie in the fridge, but that's going to wait until later tonight, way later.

Neil Heslin, Father of Jesse Lewis, Killed in Newtown Shooting, Spends Christmas Eve Graveside

I cried listening to this interview a couple of days after the shooting. Not shaking, sobbing crying. Just crying in my soul for this man and his unbearable loss. My wife saw this later after I'd seen it and she said, "He was still in shock."

The story's at the New York Post, "Alone together: Grieving dad at Jesse’s grave."

I get a little misty watching it again at the clip.

National Review's Newtown Symposium

For some reason NRO's editors thought it smart to put Charlotte Allen's not-enough-men essay first in its recent symposium on the massacre. I don't know. As the father of a husky 11-year-old boy, I doubt I'm the best advocate for a bunch of husky (11 or) 12-year-old boys "gang rushing" a grown man wielding a semi-automatic rifle shooting fragmenting bullets. Megan McArdle made the "gang rush" argument as well (about which here). There may be some circumstances during a mass shooting that such virtual human sacrifice defense methods succeed in dragging down the shooter, or bowling him over, or whatever, but it defies common sense for a rational-thinking child to summon up that much foolish bravado. If anything, I suspect someone would sooner jump between the line of fire to save a dear friend, as what happened during the Aurora shooting. That "gang rush" thing sounds more like a bum rush at this point.

That said, this was actually an excellent symposium: "Newtown Answers."

A couple I like especially, for example, from Jim Daly:

As parents, we must help our children navigate a corrosive culture. We can do this by encouraging and championing a strong moral foundation. Morals help to maintain order in the culture. It’s become en vogue in some circles to consider that morality is relative, that good and bad are subjective. But as we were reminded this past Friday, nothing could be further from the truth.

The best news in the darkest of times is that God has not given up on us. He is in the middle of the mayhem. He now holds these precious little children in His arms. And as we mourn we must hold tightly to the hope and promises of His Word, that He truly is “Our Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace.”

From David French:

Thousands of years ago, a man named Job faced the horrible, violent death of his children. He begged God for reasons for his calamity. He pled his case at great length and with great eloquence. Yet when God finally answered, the response was not what Job hoped. The God of the universe answered Job by essentially declaring that He was God, and Job was not. So Job literally placed his hand over his mouth and trusted in the God who he could not fully understand.

Our lives are full of the inexplicable — virtuous men die at evil hands, good men fail while bad men succeed, and justice is forever elusive — but like Job, we must trust our Creator, the God who gave us life and loved us enough to send a Savior. When all words fail, we trust, we pray, and we rely on a promise:

“Blessed are those who mourn; for they shall be comforted.”

May God fulfill that promise for the victims and families of Sandy Hook Elementary School.

From Father Gerald Murray:

The Feast of the Holy Innocents on December 28 is a reminder that violence and mass murder have been part of the human condition since the Fall of Man. Innocent boys were slaughtered by the evil Herod. The senseless act of violence at Sandy Hook Elementary School is a shocking instance of the ever-present possibility that a man will choose to do unimaginable crimes. We are stunned by such murderous hatred, which is diabolical in nature and gravely offends our natural instincts and our religious convictions. What can console us and reassure us?

Sympathy and kindness towards the grieving are important and necessary, but man cannot restore what has been destroyed. The only true and lasting consolation that the Church can offer to those who mourn the untimely death of their loved ones is the Divinely revealed truth that this life is but a preparation for life eternal in Heaven. Those who die are in the hands of a Good God.

May the knowledge of God’s goodness console those who now live in such great sorrow, yet are sustained by the hope of being reunited one day with their loved ones in Heaven.

And the essay by Emily Stimson stands alone, so I'd rather not block quote it. Go read it all at the symposium.

And again, why the editors placed Charlotte Allen's up front is a mystery. She's written response to her critics, for what it's worth: "Newtown & My Critics." (via Memeorandum).

Drew Barrymore's Baby Joy

Imagine a child movie star you're seen grow up and have her own children, a beautiful woman and a beautiful child.

Now open your eyes.

It's a lovely story, at People Magazine. We need some more loveliness right now.

See: "Drew Barrymore Introduces Daughter Olive."

Says Barrymore, "It's like the biggest crush I've ever had in my life. I dance, I sing, I jump up and down. I do anything!"

"This is the place where it feels right. I was thinking back the other day to all the milestones I've had in this magazine. It was a very positive, introspective moment. I'm ready to try to be the best parent I can be. As life gets shorter, the stakes get higher. And this is the most important thing I will ever do."

Scientists Show That Unborn Babies Yawn Repeatedly in the Womb

At LifeNews, "Amazing 4-D Ultrasound Captures Baby Yawning in the Womb."

'There is much to life beyond politics...'

Ann Althouse offers some consolation, at Instapundit, "THANKS TO GLENN..."

And from Ann's blog, "'Listen, I like stopping by Althouse, but let's get real. Althouse and Meade are living a high-income, privileged life that many of us can only dream about'."